69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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