I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
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the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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