So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
