Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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