I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
