I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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