I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize