don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
