Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
