next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
