The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
