I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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