The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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