After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i dont even know how to be here
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
