1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize