You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
