dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize