dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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