Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
