using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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