Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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