My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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