Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
