Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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