just come out here and I will go home with you...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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