I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize