Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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