you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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