Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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