I just made out with a guy for $7.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
