So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
