So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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