i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My feet surprised me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
