What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
