Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
