dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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