i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
