They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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