we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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