he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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