Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
