I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
