My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize