we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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