the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
