dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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