Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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