We won't sleep together?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
