I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
