I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
