i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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