dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
