brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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