She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize