sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
