and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
