just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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