My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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