i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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